Family Studies
The Intense Spiritual Battle of Parenting (Eph. 6:12)
Series: Training a Child (Lessons from Proverbs)Introduction:
1. We all recognize that we are in a spiritual battle for our souls. But we are engaging the same enemy for the souls of our children. 2. There are various images used throughout Scripture that reflect on the severity of the situation.a. The devil is portrayed as a roaring lion prowling about seeking someone to devour (1 Pet. 5:8).
b. Job said, “I broke the jaws of the wicked and snatched the prey from his teeth” (29:17).
c. Amos used a similar image when describing Samaria’s destruction by Assyria. The Lord said, “Just as the shepherd snatches from the lion’s mouth a couple of legs or a piece of an ear, so will the sons of Israel be snatched away” (3:12).
3. As parents we need to think of ourselves as shepherds snatching our children from the teeth of the lion. Not a single one of us would hesitate to risk our lives in a scenario like that, but too often I fear that we do not recognize the severity, nor the nature of the battle for our children. 4. It is not a battle for a couple of legs or a piece of an ear, but a battle for the heart. We cannot afford to loose! 5. What are we to do?Discussion:
I. Saturate their minds with biblical teaching.A. Do it early. Do not wait. It is better to build a fence than to snatch body parts later. If there is no fence or it is poorly constructed it is hard to keep the lions out.
1. Realize the urgency of taking preventive measures, before the attack. Sometimes urgency is not realized until the attack but then there is little time for building fortifications.
2. It is a battle for the mind.
a. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Rom. 12:2).
b. Although Proverbs uses the word heart for the word mind it is replete with this emphasis.
1) “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live” (4:4).
2) “My son, give attention to my words, incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your sight; keep them in the midst of your heart” (20-21).
3) “Bind them continually around your neck. When you walk about, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk to you” (6:21-22).
4) “Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart” (7:3).
B. Give instruction in the way of the Lord so that temptations can be responded to with wisdom.
1. Jesus responded to temptation with “It is written” (Matt. 4).
2. Paul feared for the Corinthians. “I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ” (2 Cor. 11:3).
3. “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:3-5).
C. Challenges and temptations will increase during teenage years.
1. These will test the foundations that you have laid.
2. Powerful influences outside your family are brought to bear on them: peer pressure, emotional stress, negative cultural influences.
3. As teenagers seek to find their place in the world and struggle with self-esteem, parents can help them see their worth is based on their standing in Christ, nor on peer approval or how they may feel about themselves.
4. Parents should lovingly pursue their teenagers, express their love, engage them on issues with which they are dealing at a given time, take the time to listen and make the effort to understand, ask heart-disclosing questions. But realize that you are not a detective, jailor, or judge, instead approach your role as that of a loving shepherd.
II. Teenagers are struggling for independence.A. In this struggle parents, you need to realize that parenting is not about you and your psychological and emotional needs. It is about your child.
1. Parents wanted to be loved, appreciated, be perceived as a success at parenting, all while maintaining control. Often we want to maintain control, because we are afraid of what might happen if we are not.
2. Your personal desire for these things can get in the way of your responsibility.
3. Your children recognize your needs and may use them as leverage in an attempt to get what they want. “If you loved me you would . . .” “I don’t love you.” Withhold appreciation. Theywill more than likely violate your parenting principles in expressing their independence. Parents say, “You weren’t brought up that way.” “You know better than that.”
B. Die to yourself, parents, give up your rights, consider God’s will and your child as more important than yourself.
1. Yes I know your chest swells up when your children excel: spiritually, sports, relationships, various achievements. I am a proud parent too.
2. Parenting is not about your ego and yes I may have a book of Who’s Who Among American High School Students with three lines about my son. I may have two.
3. You want the family reputation protected.
C. The goal of parenting—a spiritually mature self-controlled independent young person.
1. Illustration of letting go of the rope. When they are young you are in absolute control. Gradually diminish control in ever widening circles of choice, control and independence.
a. For you young people what that means is that you must work to create the situation where your parents trust you.
b. For you parents this means learning from your child that they are worthy of your trust—sometimes they are and sometimes they are not.
c. Sometimes very mature judgments and choices. Sometimes very immature judgments and choices.
2. Signs of spiritual maturity.
a. Independent life of personal worship and devotion.
b. Desire for corporate worship and instruction.
c. Pursuit of fellowship in the body of Christ.
d. Openness to discuss spiritual things.
e. Approaching decision making from a biblical perspective.
f. Desire to serve the Lord and others and to share your faith with others.
g. A desire to give of your financial resources to support God’s work.
h. Looking forward in your life and making decisions about your future in a way that reflects that your no. 1 priority is serving the Lord.
III. Dealing with cultural pressures.A. It is no revelation that the majority of people in the world are not Christians. That means that the majority view is not biblical.
1. Things that are valuable in the world: power, position, money, looks, cars, houses.
2. Biblical view is that one’s relationship with God is top value. Our self worth comes from our relationship with God and our inherent value as a result o our being created in His image, not how handsome/pretty we are; how much money; what kind of car; how athletically successful, etc.
B. The Bible teaches that we must “come out from them and be separate” (2 Cor. 6:17; cf. Isa. 52:11; Jer. 51:45).
1. We are in the world, but not of the world (Jn. 17:6, 11; 1 Jn. 2:15).
2. And yet we are to be a salt and light influence in the world (Matt. 5:13-16).
3. The world would assimilate us; instead we are to assimilate the world (Rom. 12:2). We are to be a counter-culture until the will of God is done on earth as it is in heaven.
4. We cannot passively withdraw. We must act to influence the world.
C. The world teaches self as top priority. The Lord teaches putting others first in self-sacrificing ways following the model of the cross.
D. We must teach this in our families, exemplify it in our marriages. Resist the pressure to conform to the world. Bring our thoughts, our wills, our actions into conformity with the teaching of Christ. We must take our identity from Him and from no others.
Conclusion:
1. Let our resolve be firm, our faith strong, our direction clear. 2. Without compromise and without apology let us press on. 3. Let us “break the jaws of the wicked snatching the prey from his teeth” (Job 29:17).
