Making Marriage Work: Affair-Proofing Your Marriage (1 Pet. 3:1-9)

Wayne Galloway
06/25/13 - N/A

Series: Additional Studies

Introduction:

1.  Successful marriages take work.  After all it is two people who are sinners that have committed themselves to one another.  If that is not a prescription for work I don’t know what is. 2.  Each of us is vulnerable to various temptations and we face an enemy characterized in Eph. 6, as a force of spiritual nature against whom nothing less than the strength of God is powerful enough to overcome. 3.  We are weak, vulnerable and often misguided by parents, friends, relatives and the world. 4.  Success depends on our ability to depend upon the strength of the Lord, submitting our wills to His, and conforming our behavior to His will, and even then this does not assure us that our partner will even attempt to do the same. 5.  When challenges arise the devil may present us with opportunity and the promise of greener pastures with someone else.  As innocent lambs he leads us to destruction and pain as we look to the satisfaction of our relational desires that have been given by God. 6.  How can we make our marriage work?  How can we implement things in our marriage that make us less vulnerable to the temptations of an affair? 7.  I certainly do not know all the answers, but God gives us help and it is to His wisdom that we must turn.

Discussion:

I.  Successful marriage begins with Commitment (Heb. 13:4).

A.  To marriage as an institution (Mal. 2:13-16).

B.  To the individual that we are committed to.

1.  Note Mal. 2:13-16—“she” is “your” wife.

2.  Note Eph. 5:28-29—“nourish and cherish;” “love your own wife.”

3.  Your relational needs need to be met here.  This is your commitment.  The objection: “He”/”She” is not doing what they are supposed to do.”  Your commitment means that you are committed to negotiating that (see 1 Pet. 3:1ff).  Cf. Matt. 19:3ff.

4.  Marriage is a covenant that is by nature unconditional in its commitment.  It is patterned after God’s unconditional commitment to us (Eph. 5:25).

II.  Successful marriage necessarily involves continual Cultivation of the relationship.

A.  Evident in Eph. 5 in nourishing and cherishing.   This follows the model of Christ’s relationship with us.  He continually works to nourish and cherish us.

B.  Many hindrances—anger and distance are common.

1.  “I am not getting what I need from the relationship.”  Anger results and sometimes results in a silencing of conversation and negotiation.

2.  Argument is a common thing.

3.  Silence and closing down is worse—resentment, embitterment, hatred, rebellion are common (Col. 3:18-19).

III.  Successful marriage involves Communion.

A.  Not just communication, but commonality of purpose.

B.  Teamwork (Gen. 2:18-24).

1.  “One-flesh” necessarily involves two individuals operating together as a team.

2.  When you are yoked together teamwork is a necessity (cf. 2 Cor. 6:14-16).

C.  The communion of teamwork involves submission.  It involves leadership (Eph. 5:22ff).

1.  Husbands listen to your wife.

2.  Work together not against each other.  An adversarial relationship is not the teamwork of a one flesh relationship.

D.  It involves love and respect (Eph. 5:33).

Conclusion:

1.  To affair proof your marriage— 2.  To find success and happiness in marriage— 3.  Begin with unconditional Commitment, continue with Cultivation and create Communion.