Family Studies
Principles to be Taught Youth – Part 5
Series: Training a Child (Lessons from Proverbs)Introduction:
1. This is the sixth lesson in our series on Proverbs as we are addressing “Principles to be Taught Youth.” 2. A little review is in order. The principles that we have already addressed . . .a. Refrain from a pleasure-seeking lifestyle.
b. Be diligent and industrious.
c. While work is legitimate, appropriate and commendable understand that it too is futility so do not place all your interest on work.
d. Practice justice and be a person of integrity.
e. Be kind rather than cruel.
f. Be generous rather than greedy.
g. Control your speech.
h. Control your anger.
i. Control your sexuality.
j. Be forthright.
k. Restrain yourself.
l. Be righteous.
3. In this lesson we will address the subject of friendship. Two principles are critical.a. Using discretion in choosing your friends.
b. Being faithful to your friends.
4. The book of Proverbs has many things to say about both these areas.Discussion:
I. Use discretion in choosing your friends (13:20).A. It is better to be a companion of wise men.
1. How do we decide who is wise?
a. Proverbs can give us help here too. 16:19 says, “It is better to be humble in spirit with the lowly than to divide the spoil with the proud.” Look for those who are humble in spirit rather than the proud.
b. Look for those who do not entice you to evil, but encourage you to do good (1:10-19).
c. Find friends who will be faithful to you (18:24).
2. Why should we be concerned about this?
a. One reason is that it reflects on who we are. “Birds of a feather . . .”
b. A second reason is that it is better for us.
1) “He who keeps company with harlots waists his wealth” (29:3).
2) “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (27:17).
3) “A prudent man sees evil and hides himself. The naïve proceed and pay the penalty” (27:12).
4) “Bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Cor. 15:33-34). Story of Polly the parrot and association with crows.
B. Generally we think of our friends as those people that we are especially close to but Scripture takes a broader approach.
1. Proverbs sees wisdom and understanding as sister and friend (7:1-5).
2. James 2:24 identifies Abraham as having God as his friend (cf. Isa. 41:8) and later in 4:4 contrasts friendship with the world as enmity with God.
3. There is a figurative sense in which anything that we keep company with is our friend, whether people or things. The music we listen to, the things that we read, etc.—anything that we allow to influence us.
4. Are the things that you are choosing as friends sharpening you or making you dull?
5. The people of the world will dull you. The people of God will sharpen you.
6. Young people need to consider the influence that a spouse will have on them (18:22). Consider the warning to Israel (Deut. 7:2-6). Applies to spousal relationships and friendships. A little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough (1 Cor. 5:6).
II. Be faithful in friendship (17:17; 18:24).A. Unfaithfulness in friendship reflects unfaithfulness to God (17:5). Taunting the poor and laughing at another’s calamity is acting unfaithfully.
1. Empathizing and understanding are acts of faithfulness.
2. When Rom. 12 says to rejoice with those that rejoice and weep with those that weep these are acts of faithfulness. Laughing at calamity and rejoicing over a friend’s failure are not loyalty.
B. Concealing transgression rather than broadcasting it so that you embarrass your friend is faithfulness (17:9).
C. Justifying the wicked and condemning the righteous is unfaithful behavior (17:15).
D. A friend may say things that wound you to sharpen you, but enemies kiss you sweetly when deceit fills their heart (27:6).
E. Friends counsel together for worthy ends (27:9).
F. Be careful not to forsake family friends (27:10).
G Be considerate to your friends (27:14) if you are not you will not keep them long.
H. Sharpen your friends (27:17).
I. Do not slander friends (30:10). Instead of saying something negative about them communicate positively.
J. Do not devour and afflict with your tongue (30:14).
Conclusion:
1. Use discretion in choosing your friends. 2. Having done so, now be faithful to them.
