Family Studies
Principles to be Taught Youth - Part 3
Series: Training a Child (Lessons from Proverbs)Introduction:
1. We have been searching Proverbs for principles to be taught youth. 2. We continue that search in this lesson with special focus on the principle of self-control. 3. Consideration will be given to three distinct areas of self-control: speech, anger, sexuality.Discussion:
I. We need to teach self-control in the area of speech (21:23).A. Advantages.
1. It guards us from troubles (21:23).
2. Results in good rather than violence (13:2).
3. Preserves life rather than producing ruin (13:3).
B. We need to learn truthfulness.
1. “He who speaks truth tells what is right, but a false witness, deceit” (12:17). Do not use your tongue to gain the upper hand.
2. “Lay aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members one of another” (Eph. 4:25).
C. We need to learn to communicate so there is healing rather than destruction.
1. “There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (12:18).
2. Think of the effect that your words are going to have on others. On yourself.
a. What you say may come back to haunt you.
b. While a soft answer turns away wrath a harsh word stirs up anger and you may well be the recipient of it. Do not say destructive things unless you are prepared to be destroyed.
c. Your motive should be higher than this. We Christians are in the business of communicating grace, kindness, love, not bitterness and hatred.
d. “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Eph. 4:29-32).
e. Parents are these the principles you are teaching your children when they hear you speak about individuals in your association, in the church? I can tell how parents talk about me by my relationship to their children. If the parents are talking negatively or not at all their children are distant and suspicious. If the parents are talking positively their children are open, inviting, trusting. Let’s conduct a little experiment. I am going to bring the mic around and ask your children what their parents think about the preacher. Will you be embarrassed by their responses? Prov. 23:16 says, a father’s innermost being will rejoice when his child speaks what is right. Will you rejoice in your children’s responses?
3. Children need to learn to communicate blessing, not cursing (James 3:8-10). What we are doing is what we are teaching them.
II. We need to teach our children to control their anger (14:17).A. Being slow to anger indicates understanding, quickness to anger exalts folly (14:29).
B. “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute” (15:18).
C. “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city” (16:32).
D. “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression” (19:11).
E. How to do this? We all get angry.
1. We can control what we think. Continually think negatively and anger builds up. Rethink. Spin it in a different direction.
2. Allow time to help diminish the emotion.
3. Be careful who you talk to they can help you rethink or to help you intensify negative thoughts.
4. Discuss the feeling.
5. Forgive wrongs.
6. Give a blessing.
III. We need to teach our children to control their sexuality. It is not just about saying “NO.” We need to teach them to say “Yes” to sexual integrity.A. The way of wisdom delivers by teaching about marriage as a covenant of God (2:10-20). Cf. Heb. 13:4.
B. Be aware of the mechanisms of adultery—smooth speech, lips that drip honey, but the ends is death (5:3-23).
1. Young ladies, there are predatory men out there. They are looking for those they can take advantage of.
2. Young men, there are predatory women out there. They are looking for those they can take advantage of.
3. Desire for her beauty, capture you with her eyelids (6:23-35).
4. 7:4-27; 9:13-18.
5. There are foolish adults that will advise you in foolish ways. Do not listen to them!
C. Be wise in your selection of a marriage partner.
1. Keep away from the adulteress, the foreigner who flatters with her words (7:5).
2. Find someone who is wise in the ways of the Lord.
3. Find someone like the woman of Prov. 31:10ff.
4. Find someone who is loyal to the Lord. “Not many like that.” Right! Where will you look for someone like that? Place yourself in the environment to find what you are looking for. See Gen. 24. Cf. 26:24-25. “If you marry a child of the devil you will have trouble with your father-in-law the rest of your life.”
Conclusion:
1. Principles to live by. Principles of happiness. Principles of success. 2. Cling to them without exception. Do not reason with yourself, “Just this once I will give in to break this principle.” 3. Control your speech. Control your anger. Control your sexuality.
