Grace, Empowering, Intimacy (Psa. 103:8-12; Eph. 2:8)

Wayne Galloway
01/11/12 - N/A

Series: The Foundation of a Biblical Family

Introduction:

1.  Review charts. 2.  In the previous lesson we focused on the first element of how God establishes and maintains His relationship with us.  He makes a covenant with us in which He unconditionally commits Himself no matter how we may respond to Him. 3.  Such was the covenant that God made with Israel (Ex. 6:4).  This covenant is summarized in the statement, “I shall be your God and you shall be My people” (Ezek. 37:27; cf. Hos. 1:9-10; 2:23). 4.  God unconditionally commits to us.  When we respond in faith we receive the benefits of the covenant.  When one fails to respond in faith he does not receive the benefits.  Ex. the generation who wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. 5.  When applied to marriage.

a.  Each spouse unconditionally commits to the other.

b.  But responds in faith to the other person’s commitment:  trusting in them to do what they promised; appreciating them for accepting, loving, and forgiving them even though they do not deserve it.  Respect, love, headship, submission are all manifestations.

c.  Thus there is an attitude of gratitude appropriate to the unconditional commitment.

6.  When applied to parenting. . .

a.  Parent unconditionally commits to the child.

b.  The appropriate response of the child is faithfulness evidenced by submission, obedience, and honor.

7.  Let’s move on and address the concepts of grace, empowering and intimacy more particularly.

Discussion:

I.  A fundamental element of God’s covenant with us is grace.  Using Him as our model, grace becomes a key ingredient in our family.

A.  Grace is the spirit of giving.  It is the willingness to give, without demanding any payment. Grace loves without expecting in return.  It loves unconditionally.

B.  We are saved by grace (Eph. 2:8).

C.  The riches of God’s grace are demonstrated toward us in Jesus Christ (Eph. 2:4-10).

D.  Grace involves an element of adaptability, flexibility, of forgiveness, and of being forgiven.  It is the “wobble room” that allows relationships to function.

E.  No human relationship can survive without grace.  Without grace, perfection is demanded.  The relationship turns into a legalistic nightmare impossible to negotiate.

1.  In negotiating relationships there are all kinds of rules that bring order and regularity to the relationship.  For example, we set a time for our studying together.

2.  Must be interpreted graciously.

F.  In our relationship with God His very nature is the law, the rule, that brings order and regularity.  In the O.T. the Ten Commandments illustrate this.

1.  But none of us perfectly respond to God.

2.  Rigidity in the application of the law leads to our separation from Him.

3.  We need order and regularity, but not legalistic application.

4.  So built into every system that God has ever had with man there has been grace.  As early as Cain and Abel sacrifices were being made and God was extending forgiveness. The whole O.T. sacrificial system is evidence of God’s lovingkindness (“hesed,” in Heb.).  Adam and Eve avoided immediate annihilation because of God’s grace.

G.  We understand this in our human relationships.

1.  Were it not for our cutting each other slack we could not be in relationship.

2.  My wife called the school counselor and asked, “Is it still illegal for me to murder a student?” I thought that was funny for awhile until I realized she had a direct line to God and she must be asking, “Is it still wrong to murder your husband?”

3.  How can a marriage survive?  Each must treat the other with grace.  Forgiving and being forgiven.

4.  How can parents and children survive?  Grace.  Undeserved kindness unconditionally given.

II.  A third element in God’s establishing and maintaining His relationship to us is empowerment.  He empowers us.

A.  Often when we think of power we think of the strong taking control over the weak, the powerful decreasing the power of the less powerful.  Some people use power in such a way as to assure the maintenance of their own powerful position.  They exercise power down on others.  They bark out commands and threaten those who would not obey.

B.  The biblical model is completely contrary to the common idea of the use of power.

1.  Note the contrast between Jesus’ perception of power and the disciples (Matt. 20:20-28).

2.  Jesus takes an empowering approach.  He encourages others.  He serves them.  It is  a power up approach.

3.  “While we were helpless, Christ died for the ungodly” (Rom. 5:6).

4.  Here is the message of Scripture.  The great and all powerful God, ruler of the universe, creator and eternal one, reaches down to helpless sinners and lifts them up.

5.  How does this brand of leadership revolutionize the world’s perception of a husband’s headship?  Of church leadership?  Elders are not to lord it over the flock (1 Pet. 5:2-3).

C.  Isn’t this what we are looking to do as parents?  Cf. Eph. 6:4:  “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

1.  We train.  We instruct.  We discipline.  We educate.

2.  Empowerment is our ultimate goal.  We want to give a child the power he/she needs to control themselves, to survive on their own, to be self-disciplined, to make a contribution to the well-being of the world.

3.  You may have seen parents who wanted their children to maintain dependence upon them.  This is for the parent, not the child.

D.  God wants us to be all He created us to be.  He wants us to see our potential.  He is willing to empower us to be all we can be.  He is willing to lift us up and get us going, to train, to discipline, and to encourage.  He will bring all His power to bear upon us. We are His project.

III.  God wants to be intimate with us.  He wants us to know Him and feel good about being known by Him.

A.  In the beginning Adam and Eve stood completely open and transparent before God.  It was only after their disobedience that they tried to hide from God out of a feeling of nakedness and shame.

B.  Before sin they had been naked before each other and felt no shame (Gen. 2:25).  They were naked and felt no shame before God before they sinned.

1.  The intimacy which Adam and Eve felt was an ability to be themselves without any pretense.

2.  Today shame is born out of the fear of being known intimately.

3.  Adam and Eve hid from God out of fear of being known intimately.

4.  They had to excuse themselves and blame others.

C.  What they did not understand was that God was unconditionally committed to them.

1.  He loves no matter what.

2.  You can acknowledge your sin to him, accept yourself as a sinner.  He does not reject you, but does what is necessary to forgive you.

3.  You don’t have to be afraid (1 Jn. 4:16-18).

D.  Look how God draws you to himself.

1.  Unconditional commitment of love.

2.  Grace to forgive.

3.  Empowering to lift you up.

4.  The relationship becomes reciprocal when we learn who God is.  We learn to love Him.  We want to enter into a relationship with Him.  We even submit to Him.  We are confident in Him.  We trust Him.  We have faith in Him.

E.  Isn’t this common in all successful relationships?  We accept the differences and uniqueness of each family member.  When there is sin we accept the consequences and accept each other.

1.  Marriage.

2.  Parenting.

F.  This is how God establishes and maintains His relationship with us.  The more we know of Him the more we desire Him.  If our relationship with God does not spiral in to deeper levels of commitment, grace, empowering and intimacy, then it will stagnate and fixate on contract rather than covenant, law rather than grace, possessive power rather than empowering, and distance rather than intimacy.

Conclusion:

1.  How is your relationship with God? 2.  Use the biblical model in your relationships with others.