Family Studies
How God Establishes and Maintains His Relationship with Us (Ezek. 16:60-62)
Series: The Foundation of a Biblical FamilyIntroduction:
1. In the previous lesson we introduced God as Father to His people and as Husband to His people. 2. If we are to use Him as the model for family relationships it is critical that we understand something of His role as familial leader. 3. In this lesson and the next we will explore the subject of how God establishes and maintains His relationship with us. We will learn of His unconditional commitment, grace and empowerment that draw us into an intimate relationship with Him. 4. Our focus this hour will be on how God builds His relationship with us upon a covenant of unconditional commitment. Grace, empowerment and intimacy will be our focus in the next lesson.Discussion:
I. Overview and introduction to the four elements.A. After studying how God establishes and maintains His relationship with us Jack and Judith Balswich concluded . . . Note that we are beginning with the conclusion.
“The logical beginning point of any family relationship is a covenant commitment, which has unconditional love at its core. Out of the security provided by this covenant love develops grace. In this atmosphere of grace, family members have the freedom to empower each other. Empowering leads to the possibility of intimacy between family members. Intimacy then leads back to a deeper level of covenant commitment” (The Family, Jack and Judith Balswick).
B. The inter-relationship and dynamics of the relationship may be illustrated with the following chart. (Introduce chart on Power Point.)
1. Think of it spiraling inward to ever deepening levels of intimacy.
2. “If a relationship does not spiral in to deeper levels of commitment, grace, empowering, and intimacy, then it will stagnate and fixate on contract rather than covenant, law rather than grace, possessive power rather than empowering, and distance rather than intimacy” (Jack and Judith Balswick).
C. As the degree of grace and degree of empowering go up so does the degree of intimacy.
1. As one party in the relationship increases their commitment, grace, empowering the other party is drawn into the relationship. Cf. one magnet and a metallic object.
2. When both parties do this they are drawn to each other like two magnets. The power is doubled.
Now let’s go back and unpack the biblical teaching upon which these conclusions are drawn. II. God builds His relationship with us upon a covenant of unconditional commitment.A. God’s covenants with Noah and Abraham.
1. The first biblical mention of a covenant is found in Gen. 6:18.
a. “I will establish My covenant with you; and you shall enter the ark.”
b. God went on to tell Noah what he was to do, “You shall enter the ark—you, your sons and your wife, and your son’s wives with you.” He was to take two of all the animals and food for himself and for the animals.
c. Gen. 6:22 says, “Thus Noah did; according to all that God commanded him.”
d. This covenant is extended after the flood and marked by the rainbow (Gen. 9:9-17).
2. The second biblical reference is in Gen. 15:18 where God made a covenant with Abraham.
a. This covenant is amplified in Gen. 17:1-7.
b. Abraham’s part of the covenant is defined in Gen. 17:9: “You must keep my covenant, you and your descendents after you.” The sign of the covenant relationship was circumcision. Abraham and his descendents were “cut off” to God in special relationship.
3. Observations.
a. God does not offer Noah or Abraham a choice in the matter. God is not saying, “I will commit myself to you IF . . .” The commitment is based entirely on God’s action. Contrast a covenant with a contract. A contract says, “I’ll do this if you do that.” Covenant says, “I’ll do this.” God’s covenants with Noah and Abraham were not based on their keeping their end of the bargain. God’s commitment was there whether they accepted it or not. Like a marriage covenant: “I am yours in sickness and in health, in prosperity and adversity. I am yours unconditionally.”
b. God demanded a response from Noah and Abraham, but this did not make His covenant conditional. God was not free to withdraw it if His offer was not accepted.
c. The potential benefits of the covenant were conditional. They had to respond appropriately to experience the benefits.
d. These covenants extended to future generations.
1) An everlasting covenant (symbolized in the rainbow, Gen. 9:11, 16).
2) To you and your descendents (Gen. 17:7ff).
e. Covenant unconditional; blessings conditional.
B. God’s unconditional commitment to us is demonstrated in His extension of salvation to us by means of the cross. “God so loved that He gave . . .” He did not ask us to get our act together and then promise action. He acted while we were yet sinners, ungodly, enemies (Rom. 5:6ff).
1. This is an extension of the covenant made with Abraham.
2. Even when Israel forsook the Lord for idols, He remembered His covenant commitment and forgave them.
3. We have celebrated our covenant with God this morning by observing the Lord’s Supper. The blood of the covenant is necessary for God to establish and maintain His relationship with us.
What does all this have to do with our family relationships? III. If God establishes and maintains His relationship with us on the basis of a covenant of unconditional commitment and we use Him as the model for our family we will establish and maintain our family relationships on the basis of unconditional commitment. Indeed this is what God calls on us to do.A. Marriage is a covenant of God.
1. Prov. 2:17 describes the adulteress as one “who leaves the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God.”
2. Mal. 2:14ff says that God is a witness between you and the wife of your youth. He says that you have dealt treacherously against her though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. He adds, “I hate divorce.”
3. It is not a contract, as men think of contacts. It is an unconditional commitment.
4. Marriage is not just a commitment to the institution of marriage, but an unconditional commitment to the relationship, and an unconditional commitment to the individual you commit to. It is not just about staying married, but doing what is necessary to help that marriage thrive, like Christ giving His life for the church, nourishing and cherishing her.
5. This commitment to the couple relationship is the foundation of the family. The couple relationship is the primary relationship in the family; the relationship between parents and children is only secondary. The family relationship is marriage centered. You cannot neglect it for the children.
B. The unconditional covenant of commitment of the couple in a marriage extends to the children.
1. Parents are unconditionally committed to their children in the biblical family.
2. In sickness and in health, in prosperity and in adversity.
3. You do for that child whatever you can to cause them to thrive.
4. Do they deserve it? Of course not! They goof up all the time. But you are committed to them any way. Give them gifts at Christmas no matter whether they are naughty or nice.
Conclusion:
1. God is unconditionally committed to you both as Father and Husband. 2. The cross is the ultimate evidence of that. 3. Will you respond appropriately in faith?
